Thursday, July 24, 2008

Lacey Speaks Honestly

Setting: It’s been a week since the last meeting. This week the same three are present, plus a guest, John, who just started visiting their church.

Lacey awaken that morning and during her personal quiet time, she read the verses from Psalms 15:

1 LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill?

2 He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart

She had somewhat of an epiphany and prayed, “God help me to speak only honest things that are true to my heart.” She set in her heart to follow through in obedience to that verse. God does answer her prayer and with the Holy Spirit’s help, allows her to be much more honest than she could have on her own strength.

Lacey: “Good morning everyone. I don’t know if you’ve met John, but he’s visited our church a couple of times. He and his wife just moved here from Chicago. I really do hope they decide to join our church because we need more people to do more tasks, so we can create more programs so that we in turn, can attract more people. The more people we have, the more financially secure I will be in my job. John is a lawyer so he will be in the position to support the church financially than many other people because I guess he has a lot of money.

I invited John to the breakfast, and put a lot of guilt on him if he decided not to come, because if we get him to come to things outside of church, then it will be more likely he will join our church.”

(All the breakfast participants look oddly at each other).

Jake: Lacey, I think you are trying to be funny but I’m afraid that John here might be taking you seriously.”

Jake’s Id: How embarrassing. What is wrong with her this morning? John is going to think she’s a fruitcake. Well, she is, most women are . . . but he will think the whole church is a bunch of fruitcakes . . . including ME!

Lacey: (Seeming a little perplexed) “But Jake, I AM being serious. That’s the real reason that I invited him. I mean, I do care about him too and wouldn’t mind being his friend . . . after all he seems like a nice guy.

Now where were we? Why don’t I open us up in prayer.

Dear Lord, I really need your grace in Christ, because I feel like crap this morning and I have a lot of unresolved issues.

I’m feeling very depressed again because I’m in my thirties and not married. I always wanted to have kids and I don’t have any. I always wanted to have a great friend and husband to spend my time with, like most of the women in church. God, you know that I’m as mad as hell that you seem so unfair to me. Have I not served you faithfully? Yet, you have never given me my husband that I wanted.

I also would like to have sex a lot. I’ve only had sex twice, with men you didn’t give a damn about me . . but I would . . .”

Jake: “Lacey! What’s the matter with you!? Are you ill? I mean that was the most inappropriate prayer I’ve ever heard! It was a sacrilege!”

(looking over at John), “I’m really sorry John. She has never been like this before and I’m really confused about what is going on with her.”

John’s Id: This is the strangest people group of Christian people I’ve ever met. They're a bunch of fruitcakes. I can’t wait to get home to tell Linda. I don’t think we will ever visit this church again. I wasn’t going to anyway. They don’t know that I’ve already decided to visit the Small Town Community Church, which is much bigger and will have many more business contacts, which I need for my practice.

Lacey: “Nothings wrong with me Jake. I feel fine. I was just praying from my heart.”

Jake: Lacey, then keep those thoughts private. Is something wrong with you . . . I mean you sound like you’re drunk.”

Lacey: “Oh, I’m sure I’m not drunk. I just had one beer three nights ago. I have to drive fifty miles to buy beer so no one in our church sees me. You know, since I’m the youth director, if I get caught buying one beer my job would be toast. I hide it under my bed, so, no I have never been drunk in my life. I savor my Coors for a once a month drink . . . alone in my dark apartment. Then I have to bury the bottle in the bottom of the dumpster so no one sees it.”

Jake’s Id: Lacey covets me? Wow. She’s a cute girl. Stupid, but cute.

Jake: “Okay, Lacey, since you seem to be in rare form, and you’re taking this prayer breakfast in an unspiritual direction, I’m going to lead it for the rest of the morning.”

Lacey: “No you’re not. Pastor Dan put me in charge of this group and if I don’t remain in charge, I could loose my job. He would love to replace me with a man so he could have a back up in the pulpit. I can’t speak from the pulpit because it would ruffle too many old-timer’s feathers.”

Melvin’s Id: This is getting interesting. I want to wait and see how Jake handles this. Hopefully he will make a bigger mess out of things. He thinks he is God’s gift to mankind and I would love to see him screw up.

Jake: “Lacey, as a pastor of Small-town Bible Church, surely you support the official church doctrines including that women aren’t to teach men?”

Lacey: “Actually Jake, I think that’s a bunch of bullshit. I signed on to the doctrinal statement because I needed a job and that’s the only way I could get a job here. I think your arguement last week with Melvin about evolution, or age of the earth is a bunch of bullshit too. I'll sign the doctrinal statement if they change it, but that doesn't mean I believe it. I need a job!”

Jake’s Id: Man, that turns me on which Lacey uses words like “bullshit.” Her eyes are the deepest blue. I feel attracted to a helpless woman and she sure looks helpless now. But this situation is bad. She has really lost her way and I've got to help her.

Jake: As a church elder I am dismissing you from the leadership of this breakfast. This should be a place where we honor the Lord. Here you are saying the most hateful things, talking about alcohol and now swearing. I think the devil has gotten a hold of you. I’m now in charge and when we are done here, we are going over to see Pastor Dan . . . and then maybe a doctor.

Okay folks, I’ll open us up in prayer.

Dear gracious Lord, be with our dear sister Lacey and let her see how much we love and care for her. Whatever is ailing her, whatever has turned her heart dark I pray that spirit would be slain . . .

Lacey: “You want to slay the Holy Spirit?”

Jake: “What are you talking about? You’re being blasphemous!”

Lacey: “No, you are. I asked the Holy Spirit to help me be honest, and He . . . or should I say, SHE, did. That’s why I’m talking this way. You see I’m only speaking what’s on my heart!

John’s Id: This is the most interesting prayer breakfast I’ve ever attended. We have a woman who has gone nuts right before our eyes."

Melvin Id: I’m really confused here. I feel like I’ve got to speak up in this situation or I’m going to look weak. As usual, Jake takes control of everything and I just can’t sit back and let him do this again.

Melvin: “Lacey dear, you’ve been under a lot of stress lately and I think it would be a good idea if you get some help from a psychologist friend of mine. I hear Dr. Patterson is very good in helping people handle stress.”

Melvin’s Id: I should know. I met with Dr. Patterson for two years when I was going through depression. I hope he doesn’t mention to Lacey that he knew me professionally. The last things I want is for church people to find out I have mental problems.

Jake: “Melvin, is he a Christian psychologist?”

Melvin: “He’s good. Does it really matter that he’s a Christian?”

Jake: (shaking his head and smiling), “Of course it does. Lacey is under a demonic attack here and one of your humanist psychologist wouldn’t be able to figure that out.

I think the best thing is that I meet with Lacey for a while. I’ve finished a course in Nouthic Biblical counseling and I sense that I have a gift in it.

Jake’s Id: I would like to meet with Lacey privately for a while. There is something about a girl, especially a cute girl, who is vulnerable that I find attractive. Who knows what could happen after a few months. I mean, she has probably never had a real leader in her life like me.

Lacey: (laughing out loud) “I really think it is you guys that need the shrink. For the fist time in my life I am closer to speaking God’s truth than ever before and you want me to see a shrink so I can shut up. Don’t you think that is quite odd?And Jake, do you really think I would want to meet with you one on one to “fix my problems?”

Jake, everyone knows about your affair with the younger lady back in the church in Kansas City. The Evangelical world is a small world. Pastor Dan’s seminary friend was the pastor of the Methodist church there. We’ve never mentioned it so we don't embarrass you. So, I’m not so naive to meet with you like that. Yeah, I did find you attractive in a stupid school girl kind a way but I never do anything to jeopardize your family. I also find your spiritual ego very unattractive.”

More to come:

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