Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Hodgepodge and Even Other Stuff
(The painting at the right is titled "Hodgepodge" but I can't find the artist's name)
It always takes me a week or so to recover when I've been out of town and this week is no exception. I've had many thoughts of things that I wanted to write about but then, a form of writers' block ensues. I think when your mind is racing it is hard to let it sit long enough for the clutter to settle out.
I do want to try and steer away from all the psychological talk I've done recently. Just that it starts to become redundant.
But maybe if I can clear out a bit of clutter, the more important topics will rise to the surface.
Unrelated Item 1) Besides work, I've been consumed lately because the Nepalese Embassy has lost my passport. I sent it there in August for a Visa, but they don't know where it is. I had to cancel my old passport yesterday and order a new one. To add some drama, it should arrive a couple of days before my departure for Nepal. I did have one Evangelical friend say, when I told of my ordeal, that this is probably God saying, "Don't go." But that again is typical Evangelical tea-leaf reading. How can we ever get through life if we believed that every event has a purpose? I would put a twist on this, maybe it is God's test to see how faithful I am to go. But then, just maybe, it was an accident, where the guy at the embassy stuffed my passport into the wrong envelop . . . hmm?
Unrelated Item 2) More Lenard Cohen. I spoke about him a few postings ago and he was really new to me. Since then, I ordered concert of his on DVD (netflix) and watched it. It was a great concert with not only him, his great lyrics and baritone voice, but great musicians and back-up singers. They had the longest encore that I've ever seen . . . almost as long as the concert proper. The next day I read a synopsis of his biography. I learned that he was born into a Jewish family in Canada. I also learned that he suffered from some severe years of depression and that he had a hard time making into the music word because of his dark lyrics. His novels succeeded first. Then I learned that he eventually became a Buddhist monk. But in his concert he seemed to joke that both treatment for depression and the Buddhist experience was a waste of time.
But it got me to think again about the dark-artist figure. There's many of them. I think the reason is that artists tend to feel deeply. When you feel deeply, you feel all things deeply, including sadness. I relate to that. I was voted senior class "clown" (actually wittiest) in high school. I did (and sometimes still do) have a sense of humor, but I feel the grief of life too.
Unrelated Item 3) More on the church front, but that too I want to lay to rest. It is becoming more and more of a paradox. We had dinner with the pastor a few weeks ago and my wife was happy to agree to become much more involved with this church. This again makes any idea of mine of leaving even more difficult. Sometimes I do wonder what's the use in all of this. I've always had the option of becoming an evangelical again, smiling all the time, seeing God working in each event of life (supernaturally), hating the Muslims and seeing all world events heading to the second coming, any day. I could fake it and if I did I think life would be so much easier again for me and my family.
More to come.
Posted by MJ at 1:53 PM