Saturday, December 17, 2011

The Blessing of Holiday Depression

Most of us feel depressed, at least at times, during the holidays.  There is a good reason for that. Thanksgiving and Christmas are time capsules.  They carry vivid memories of holidays past. For some of us, those memories are of childhood.  I've always said that childhood is the most idealized time of life, and for many of us the happiest. As children (unless we were abused) we see the world as a place of wonder, a place to explore and learn. We had not yet tasted the disappointments of life, sickness, death  and betrayal.

There are also memories for some of us, of our own children during their wonder years.

Then those are memories of those we loved and are gone. The holidays seems to have a special place for those we've lost.

Time is the great thief, stealing our wonder years, those we've loved and our own health. The holidays are a great reminder of that which was stolen.

The blessing of feeling depressed, is the glory of being human.  There is a time for laughing . . . and a time for crying.  All are on the spectrum of being human and in that we are blessed.

I haven't decided yet if time is a result of the fall of Adam, or a twisted gift from God.  After all, time also steals our sorrows. There is no doubt that it hurts much more right after the loss, than after the passage of a lot of time.

The false Christian message is that we must always smile, always look at the bright side, and feel guilty about having moments of sadness.  But sadness is part of being human, of being real. The grief testifies to the value of the person we lost, or the value of those special times when we were small, or our kids were.  The loss is real and deserves real sadness in its wake.

Of course I'm not talking about clinical depression. That is piece of hell on earth. I'm speaking here of garden variety sadness. The sadness in the back ground, or of that which overwhelms you for a few minutes, or an entire morning. But enjoy your grief, for a brief season and feel no guilt about it. It is living in reality.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The false Christian message is that we must always smile, always look at the bright side, and feel guilty about having moments of sadness.

"Hell hath no torment worse than Constant Forced Cheerfulness."
-- G.K.Chesterton, "Three Tools of Death" (Fr Brown Mystery)