Beauty in the Midst of Darkness

I'm deviating from GERMFASK, obviously.  I'm not sure if anyone is reading it anyway. But before I take a more complex turn in that story, I wanted to take this detour into my thoughts of the week.

Two things have put me in is frame of mind, the book Lolitha by Valdimir Nabokov and the movie, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I'm almost to the end of the book . . . and I just saw the movie.

There's several issues at stake here . . . so many I don't know where to begin.

The first question to raise, is there a limit to art?  Is there a boundary line over which Christians should not pass when it comes to art?  I think there probably is, but it is more of a dotted line than a solid one, meaning the line is in one place for one individual and somewhere else for someone else. No one can judge what is good or not good for someone else, not unless they know that person very well.

In my Evangelical days, we had a solid line. It was not only solid, but thick, 27 pt, line that was universal.  In my Navigator days, our rep had the view that we shouldn't (nor anyone for that matter) watch a movie that is not rated G, nor read a book that has any sex in it period and certainly not sex between unmarried (and Godly) people.

But that's on the extreme edge of self-censorship.  It also reflects a very poor understanding of art and the belief in a Satan that is more powerful than God.  I say that last part because we literally believed that if someone saw The Exorcist, they would immediately be demon oppressed.

I don't want waste anymore time on that issue, although it deserves it. I want to talk about the specific art that I mentioned.

If you don't know, Lolitha is a very graphic story about a man in his forties obsessed, sexually, with teenybopper girls . . . ages 12-14.  Indeed his obsession leads him on a narcissistic journey to marry a women, in order to get his hands on her 12-year-old daughter.  Fortunately (for him) his wife dies and the girl is all his to manipulate, rape and possess to his dark heart's content. Could this book be edifying?

So why am I reading it?  I've mentioned before, since being turned on to good fiction by my sons, I've been reading the top 100 English novels and Lolitha is number four.  I hesitated at first.  I didn't really know the subject matter for sure. Here are my thoughts why it is a good read.

First of all, the reason it is number four, because Nabokov is a literary genius. The book is written with incredible layers of meaning and richness . . . despite the dark content.  Yes, you can admire the beauty of an artist, who is created in God's imagine, and reflects God's creativity, even though the content is dark. But Nabokov didn't just pull the story from some dark place in his evil mind.  I'm known hundreds of people (if you include my patients) who have lived the life of Lolitha. They were sexually molested, raped and possessed by their fathers, stepfathers, mom's boyfriends or, in some cases, complete strangers.  Nabokov enters that world and more than that, the deep chambers of the mind of the perpetrator.

I could write 20 posts about that book, but the thing that sticks out to me the most is the complex rationalization that we all are capable of.  The perpetrator weaves this mental narrative that makes himself out to be the victim. But it is an insight to the human condition that is worth exploring. It comes back to the parable of the log and the speck.  Mentally, we judge others more harshly than they deserve and ourselves more lightly.  The thinking goes like this, "Yes, I did bad thing X, but you have to  understand why.  I'm not a bad person, but I did X because of these circumstances."  Then we look at the other person who did X and we have the notion that they did it simply because they are evil.

Reading the book did not tempt me to become obsessed with teeny boppers.  Now, if that was a weakness in someone, then maybe that's where the dotted line falls down. Maybe they shouldn't read it.  Maybe I shouldn't read books that try to convince me to stop working and to sit in a coffee shop all day reading and writing.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo can be appreciated as well for its artistry.  If I were to pick the highlight of the art, it would be in the acting ability of Rooney Mara, who plays the key role Lisbeth Salander.  I don't have any clue what Rooney is like in her real life, but unless she is really like Lisbeth, she is a remarkable actress.

It is a dark movie. My wife, who is an addict of Hallmark movies, hated it. She closed her eyes during much of it. It does though teach us about the human condition and that fine line between brilliance and insanity.  I don't have time to say much more, but that I was swept away by the talent.  It was so intense that I would only want to see a movie like that no more than once a month.

GERMFASK XV

In Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, the demarcation between Autumn and Winter is crisp.  One day the leaves are at their peak and suddenly a heavy, wet snow brings them down . . . all of them.  In some years, the first snow is the prelude to the last, meaning the ground is never clear in between. In better years, the early snows act as a teaser with a brief Indian summer wedged in before the real snows engulf them.

It was such an early, wet snow that occurred on the following Wednesday.  It was the kind of snow that forms to the soles of your shoes that you can clearly read “Vibram” in the bottom of each step.  Oddly, Debra, who had the furthest to drive on icy roads, arrived first.  She had to choose a new table as a snowbound family were sitting at their usual window table. Actually they weren’t as much snowbound as what Debra called flake-phobic. These are usually people from below the Mason-Dixie Line, who have come up to see the leaves not believing it could possibly snow on them in late September.  She could tell from the accents as they ordered their breakfast that was the case.

 

But soon Father Randy, Mike and David arrived.  Greg was helping an elderly neighbor shovel her sidewalk and had texted Father Randy that he would be late. 

The tall stranger seemed to always arrive last and so he did.

Mike pulled up a second, small, round table to accommodate the five . . . soon to be six . . . of them. Tom started with his big, bright smile, “Okay gentlemen . . . and lady . . . I hope you’ve had a fair week” (he still didn’t have command of the American colloquial enough to understand that “fair” had not been used in that context for at least a hundred years).

After a moment of chatter about their weeks, orders taken and Greg in his place, Tom moved into his more somber mode.  “Friends, I will be candid and tell you that I am growing homesick and tired of this whole matter.  I feel that I have barely scratched the surface of my intentions and I really want to see this through. So, I was thinking, that is time that we get down to business.”

Mike broke his month-long quiet mood, “I totally agree. Why don’t we see if we can’t answer your questions today and resolve this once and for all (Mike was growing tired of the stranger and his uncanny ability to read them all. Mike’s personal life was becoming more unraveled and he really didn’t want it brought up again).

Tom reached into his briefcase and pulled out papers. He laid them on the table. Then he put on, what looked like cheap, reader glasses, and started to pass the papers around the table counter-clockwise, starting with David.

When each breakfasteer had their papers in hand, Tom spoke, “I came here to learn from you, a proper understanding of two deeply related issues. What is the Gospel and what is the Church. I think I see the Church as a balloon and the Gospel as the air which suspends its sides against the lower pressure of the atmosphere. So, while I grasp the point that the Gospel is God’s blanket of snow covering the brokenness of the world, with not only smoothness, but real and extreme purity, the only remaining question is who are the ones covered? I think I could arrive at four, if not six possible answers from the sources around this table. So, I will put that question on . . . what I’ve heard you say . . . the back burner.“

 

Father Randy shook his head, “I think that’s a good idea. It’s hard for me to imagine how we could define it any better without creating conflict where there was none before.”

Tom took off his glasses and shook his head, “That’s what seems so strange to us, it is beyond our comprehension that searching for truth and conflict should reside together on the same thought, but that is the only way you people think. One really has nothing to do with the other.  If you folks could dislodge your belief systems from your sense of self-value, you would have total freedom to discuss things.  But it is what it is and I can’t change your culture in one simple blow.”

He sat back and put his glasses back on. He looked at the papers in his hand.  Then he pushed the glasses down on his nose and looked above them at the group, “So, what I have here is the bulk of the New Testament verses about the Church. I’m sure I’ve missed a couple here or there.  I want to use this as our basis and then explore what you’ve learned about the Church beyond what is obvious.”

Tom looked back down at his papers and then up again, “What I’ve taken the liberty to do here is to replace your English word ‘Church’ with a more simple word so we can try and shed your cultural connotations.  Since the original, Greek word was ‘Ekklesia’ I wanted to find an equivalent. The word means of course 'called out.' The best picture in Greek times would be someone walking down the street and stopping at each home and calling out a couple of names. Those individuals would come out of their house, to the outside, and follow the crowd down the street.  These ‘called-out’ ones, would be a mixture of all kinds of people. I first thought of the word ‘volunteer’ but that didn’t fit, because it was more deliberate by the caller. I could say the ‘elect’ but even that word has too many connotations. So the word I chose to replace ‘Church’ is ‘selected.’  I’ve also taken further liberties of replacing the word “Elder” for the more simple and appropriate word, ‘senior’ or ‘older person.’  Lastly, I’ve replaced the word Deacon, which is proper and seems to be an office here, with a word more closely to the original, ‘assistant.’  So now that I’ve changed those words, trying to find the pure meaning and description of the Church, please read these verses, let’s start at that point, then you teach me how we should construct our Church.”

The pastors looked down and skimmed the paper. David looked up and commented, "This is a huge amount of reading. We can't cover all of this in one morning."

Tom responded, "Let's do this. Take this home and study it. Then next week we will start our discussion. So this morning, we will enjoy our breakfast and talk about our private lives."  The group looked in horror.  

Here is what was written on the strangers' papers.

Matthew 16:18 And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my selected group, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.

Matthew 18:17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the selected; and if they refuse to listen even to the selected, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Acts 5:11 Great fear seized the all the selected and all who heard about these events.

Acts 8:1 And Saul approved of their killing him. On that day a great persecution broke out against the selected in Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout Judea and Samaria.

Acts 8:3 But Saul began to destroy the selected group. Going from house to house, he dragged off both men and women and put them in prison.

Acts 9:31 Then the selected throughout Judea, Galilee and Samaria enjoyed a time of peace and was strengthened. Living in the fear of the Lord and encouraged by the Holy Spirit, the group increased in numbers.

Acts 11:19 Now those who had been scattered by the persecution that broke out when Stephen was killed traveled as far as Phoenicia, Cyprus and Antioch, spreading the word only among Jews.

Acts 11:22 News of this reached the selected in Jerusalem, and they sent Barnabas to Antioch.

Acts 11:26 and when he found him, he brought him to Antioch. So for a whole year Barnabas and Saul met with the selected and taught great numbers of people. The disciples were called Christians first at Antioch. 

Acts 12:1 It was about this time that King Herod arrested some who belonged to the selected, intending to persecute them. So Peter was kept in prison, but the selected was earnestly praying to God for him. 

Acts 13:1 Now in the selected at Antioch there were prophets and teachers: Barnabas, Simeon called Niger, Lucius of Cyrene, Manaen (who had been brought up with Herod the tetrarch) and Saul.

Acts 14:23 Paul and Barnabas appointed seniors for them in each selected and, with prayer and fasting, committed them to the Lord, in whom they had put their trust.

Acts 14:27 On arriving there, they gathered the selected together and reported all that God had done through them and how he had opened a door of faith to the Gentiles.

Acts 15:3 The selected sent them on their way, and as they traveled through Phoenicia and Samaria, they told how the Gentiles had been converted. This news made all the believers very glad.  

Acts 15:4 When they came to Jerusalem, they were welcomed by the selected and the apostles and seniors, to whom they reported everything God had done through them.

Acts 15:22 Then the apostles and seniors, with the whole selected, decided to choose some of their own men and send them to Antioch with Paul and Barnabas. They chose Judas (called Barsabbas) and Silas, men who were leaders among the believers.

Acts 15:30 So the men were sent off and went down to Antioch, where they gathered the selected together and delivered the letter. He went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the selected. 

Acts 16:5 So the selected were strengthened in the faith and grew daily in numbers. 

Acts 18:22 When he landed at Caesarea, he went up to Jerusalem and greeted the selected and then went down to Antioch. From Miletus, Paul sent to Ephesus for the seniors of the selected.

Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the selected of God, which he bought with his own blood. 

Romans 16:1 I commend to you our sister Phoebe, an assistant of the selected in Cenchreae.

Romans 16:5 Greet also the selected that meets at their house. Greet my dear friend Epenetus, who was the first convert to Christ in the province of Asia. 

1 Corinthians 1:2 To the selected of God in Corinth, to those sanctified in Christ Jesus and called to be his holy people, together with all those everywhere who call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ—their Lord and ours:

 1 Corinthians 1:10 I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.

1 Corinthians 3:1 Brothers and sisters, I could not address you as people who live by the Spirit but as people who are still worldly—mere infants in Christ.

1 Corinthians 4:17 For this reason I have sent to you Timothy, my son whom I love, who is faithful in the Lord. He will remind you of my way of life in Christ Jesus, which agrees with what I teach everywhere in every selected.  What business is it of mine to judge those outside the selected? Are you not to judge those inside? 

1 Corinthians 6:4 Therefore, if you have disputes about such matters, do you ask for a ruling from those whose way of life is scorned in the selected? 

1 Corinthians 7:17 Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the selected. 

1 Corinthians 10:32 Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the selected of God— 

1 Corinthians 11:16 If anyone wants to be contentious about this, we have no other practice—nor do the selected of God.

1 Corinthians 11:18 In the first place, I hear that when you come together as a selected, there are divisions among you, and to some extent I believe it. 

1 Corinthians 11:22 Don’t you have homes to eat and drink in? Or do you despise the selected of God by humiliating those who have nothing? What shall I say to you? Shall I praise you? Certainly not in this matter! 

1 Corinthians 12:28 And God has placed in the selected first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, of helping, of guidance, and of different kinds of tongues. 

1 Corinthians 14:4 Anyone who speaks in a tongue edifies themselves, but the one who prophesies edifies the selected. 

1 Corinthians 14:5 I would like every one of you to speak in tongues, but I would rather have you prophesy. The one who prophesies is greater than the one who speaks in tongues, unless someone interprets, so that the selected may be edified.

 1 Corinthians 14:12 So it is with you. Since you are eager for gifts of the Spirit, try to excel in those that build up the selected. 

1 Corinthians 14:19 But in the selected I would rather speak five intelligible words to instruct others than ten thousand words in a tongue. 

1 Corinthians 14:23 So if the whole selected group comes together and everyone speaks in tongues, and inquirers or unbelievers come in, will they not say that you are out of your mind? 

1 Corinthians 14:26 What then shall we say, brothers and sisters? When you come together, each of you has a song, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. Everything must be done so that the selected may be built up.

 1 Corinthians 14:28 If there is no interpreter, the speaker should keep quiet in the selected and speak to himself and to God. 

1 Corinthians 14:34 Women should remain silent in the selected. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says. 

1 Corinthians 14:35 If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the selected.

 1 Corinthians 15:9 For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the selected of God.

1 Corinthians 16:1 Now about the collection for the Lord’s people: Do what I told the Galatian selected to do. The selected in the province of Asia send you greetings. Aquila and Priscilla greet you warmly in the Lord, and so does the selected that meets at their house.

 2 Corinthians 1:1 Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, and Timothy our brother, To the selected of God in Corinth, together with all his holy people throughout Achaia: 

2 Corinthians 7:2Make room for us in your hearts. We have wronged no one, we have corrupted no one, we have exploited no one. 

2 Corinthians 8:1 And now, brothers and sisters, we want you to know about the grace that God has given the Macedonian selected. 

2 Corinthians 8:18 And we are sending along with him the brother who is praised by all the selected for his service to the gospel. 

2 Corinthians 8:19 What is more, he was chosen by the selected to accompany us as we carry the offering, which we administer in order to honor the Lord himself and to show our eagerness to help.

2 Corinthians 8:23 As for Titus, he is my partner and co-worker among you; as for our brothers, they are representatives of the selected and an honor to Christ.

2 Corinthians 8:24 Therefore show these men the proof of your love and the reason for our pride in you, so that the selected can see it. 

2 Corinthians 11:8 I robbed other selected by receiving support from them so as to serve you. 

2 Corinthians 11:28 Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the selected.

2 Corinthians 12:13 How were you inferior to the other selected, except that I was never a burden to you? Forgive me this wrong!

Galatians 1:2 and all the brothers and sisters with me, To the selected in Galatia: 

Galatians 1:13 For you have heard of my previous way of life in Judaism, how intensely I persecuted the selected of God and tried to destroy it. 

Galatians 1:22 I was personally unknown to the selected of Judea that are in Christ. 

Ephesians 1:22 And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the selected. 

Ephesians 3:10 His intent was that now, through the selected, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms.

 Ephesians 3:21 to him be glory in the selected and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

 Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the selected, his body, of which he is the Savior. 

Ephesians 5:24 Now as the selected submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

 Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the selected and gave himself up for her. 

Ephesians 5:27. .  and to present her to himself as a radiant selected, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 

Ephesians 5:29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the selected.

 Ephesians 5:32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the selected. 

Colossians 1:24 Now I rejoice in what I am suffering for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ’s afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the selected. 

Colossians 4:15 Give my greetings to the brothers and sisters at Laodicea, and to Nympha and the selected in her house. 

Colossians 4:16 After this letter has been read to you, see that it is also read in the selected of the Laodiceans and that you in turn read the letter from Laodicea. 

1 Thessalonians 1:1 Paul, Silas and Timothy, To the selected of the Thessalonians in God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ: Grace and peace to you. 

1 Thessalonians 2:14 For you, brothers and sisters, became imitators of God’s selected in Judea, which are in Christ Jesus: You suffered from your own people the same things those selected suffered from the Jews. 

2 Thessalonians 1:1 Paul, Silas and Timothy, To the selected of the Thessalonians in God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ: 

2 Thessalonians 1:4 Therefore, among God’s selected we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring. 

1 Timothy 3:5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s selected?) 

1 Timothy 3:15 if I am delayed, you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the selected of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth. 

1 Timothy 5:16 If any woman who is a believer has widows in her care, she should continue to help them and not let the selected be burdened with them, so that the selected can help those widows who are really in need. 

1 Timothy 5:17 The seniors who direct the affairs of the selected well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching. 

Philemon 1:2 also to Apphia our sister and Archippus our fellow soldier—and to the selected that meets in your home. 

Hebrews 12:23 to the selected of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God, the Judge of all, to the spirits of the righteous made perfect. 

James 5:14 Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the seniors of the selected to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. 

3 John 1:6 They have told the selected about your love. Please send them on their way in a manner that honors God.

3 John 1:9 I wrote to the selected, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will not welcome us. 

3 John 1:10 So when I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, spreading malicious nonsense about us. Not satisfied with that, he even refuses to welcome other believers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the selected. 

Revelation 1:4 John, To the seven selected in the province of Asia: Grace and peace to you from him who is, and who was, and who is to come, and from the seven spirits before his throne,

Revelation 1:11which said: “Write on a scroll what you see and send it to the seven selected: to Ephesus, Smyrna, Pergamum, Thyatira, Sardis, Philadelphia and Laodicea.” 

Revelation 1:20 The mystery of the seven stars that you saw in my right hand and of the seven golden lampstands is this: The seven stars are the angels of the seven selected, and the seven lampstands are the seven selected.

 Revelation 2:1 “To the angel of the selected in Ephesus write: These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lampstands. 

Revelation 2:7 Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the selected. To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God. 

Revelation 2:8 “To the angel of the selected in Smyrna write: These are the words of him who is the First and the Last, who died and came to life again. 

Revelation 2:11 Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the selected. The one who is victorious will not be hurt at all by the second death. 

Revelation 2:12 “To the angel of the selected in Pergamum write: These are the words of him who has the sharp, double-edged sword. 

Revelation 2:17 Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the selected. To the one who is victorious, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it. 

Revelation 2:18 “To the angel of the selected in Thyatira write: These are the words of the Son of God, whose eyes are like blazing fire and whose feet are like burnished bronze.

 Revelation 2:23 I will strike her children dead. Then all the selected will know that I am he who searches hearts and minds, and I will repay each of you according to your deeds. 

Revelation 2:29 Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the selected.

 Revelation 3:1 “To the angel of the selected in Sardis write: These are the words of him who holds the seven spirits of God and the seven stars. I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. 

Revelation 3:6 Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the selected.

Revelation 3:7 “To the angel of the selected in Philadelphia write: These are the words of him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open.

Revelation 3:13 Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the selected.

Revelation 3:14 “To the angel of the selected in Laodicea write: These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. 

Revelation 3:22 Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the selected.” 

Revelation 22:16 “I, Jesus, have sent my angel to give you this testimony for the selected. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, and the bright Morning Star.”

GERMFASK XIV

After quickly devouring his fried, green tomatoes, the stranger reached his long, slender arm beneath his chair and pulled a big leather-bound Bible from his briefcase and laid it on the table with a thud.  It was much more worn since they last time they had seen it. Bookmarks made from bright yellow and orange aspen leaves jutted from the bottom of the book like the wings of giant locusts being pressed between the pages.

Tom looked around the table at his extra-stellar friends. “Okay, are we ready? Is it time that you explain to me what the Church is?”

David wiped his mouth with his napkin and looked up at him, “I thought you knew everything?”  He sat up straight and stared with anticipation to make it clear this was not a joke.

Tom put his hand on David’s shoulder, “I never said I know everything. We know a lot, but there are gaping holes in our knowledge. We have a detailed history of humanity that you don’t have, but we have never had the scriptures to explain the gospel.”

David picked up Tom’s Bible and flipped through the pages until one of the leaves fell out. “Sorry,” he said as he picked it off the floor and stuck it back between the pages. “So now you have the scriptures and you people are so smart—a lot smarter than us emotional-thinkers—what then do you want from us?”

Tom smiled, “But you see, we have no tradition of the scriptures to draw from. We want to learn from you. After all, you’ve had the chance to study the scriptures for over two thousand years.  I guess we just don’t want to start from scratch . . . so please teach us.” 

Greg was to Tom’s left and scratching his head. His mind was pondering something and the pondering was written all over his face like bold print. “Say, Tom. Before we go down that path, trying to explain the Church . . . well, I’m intrigued. What do you know about us that we don’t? I mean about human history?”

Tom had wished that he had never mentioned that point, because he really came there that morning to learn about the Church.  He rubbed his face. “Okay, I will do this. I will indulge in some history but I won't answer any follow up questions . . . at least not until you answer my question about the nature of the Church.”

Tom looked at Greg, who was all ears, and smiled. Then he continued, “Hmm, ok we know that the earth really is very, very old and the earth scientists are not that far off. It is about four and a half billion years old.” 

David was shaking his head . . . but remaining quiet.  So Tom continued, “The dinosaurs died off because of a pandemic of the bird flu . . . as they were in the bird family after all.  The pandemic spread quickly and that’s why you have the piles of dead animals.  It wasn’t due to an asteroid hitting the earth. Actually the huge crater, beneath the water off Yucatan, is a huge volcanic caldera. There was no asteroid. It did erupt a few times, creating a couple of the ice ages. Let me see, we also know what happened to the Neanderthals.  They were genetically different from humans, but not completely different.  Actually, the homo-sapiens didn’t kill them off . . . but they were cursed by beauty.  You see, the Neanderthals were in Europe and other areas first. When the homo-sapiens arrived, the Neanderthals dominated them by not only mightier physique but bigger brains. The Neanderthal men had one downfall and that was that they found homo-sapien women irresistible.  They were as Venus to them. They left their own kind and bred only with the homo-sapien women. This led, like in the case of the Mule, a sterile off-spring. So, in the meantime the homo-sapien men were continuing to multiply with their natural mates and the Neanderthal linage came to an end.”  Tom noticed the totally uninterested looks on everyone’s face but Greg’s.  “So that’s that. Now to the topic at hand.”

Tom turned to David and slid his Bible in his direction.  David didn’t pick it up but looked at the group. “This is easy. The Church is the Bride of Christ. She is the organization of His people.”

Tom smiled again, “But David, you have to do much better than that. Those are only poetic words. We are serious about this. This information is crucial for an entire planet of people.” Tom slid the Bible even closer to David until it was touching his belly, “So, David, what really is the Church? How would you define it?  Are we (pointing to the group around the table) a church?”

David had a little frown, “No, I wouldn’t call this group a church. That would be somewhat of a sacrilege to the true church.”

Tom saw sifting in the seats of Father Randy and Debra out of the corner of his left eye. Then he asked David, “So how is that?”

“Well, for one, we have different beliefs here.  I think Greg and I have profoundly different views of what it means to be a Christian and we covered that before. The same is true with the Father here . . . and Debra. So we can’t be part of the same Church.”

“So there is more than one? Christ has two bodies? So He is a polygamist?” asked Tom.

Father Randy seized the opportunity, “That would be one area of historical disagreement.  The position of my church is that indeed there is only one Church and hopefully, one day Christ will restore the Church to one body. But for now it is divided.”

Tom looked at David, “So do you agree with that?”

David thought for a moment, “I don’t agree that the Father’s church is the one Church.  His church took a powerful detour hundreds of years ago and there are plenty of people in my church that would say that his Church is not real, or they are not even real Christians.”

Tom looked cautiously at him, “Do you believe that yourself?”

There was a minute of awkward silence then Mike spoke up, “You see Tom, before you came here we would never have these type of dividing discussions . . . and that was a good thing.  I think you are going to stir up trouble and people are going to get their feelings hurt if you’re not careful.”

Tom shook his head. “But this is insanity!  What is the Church is a very serious topic. It should be discussed by a group of people, each with a passion for the truth. But you people of the earth—and don’t forget that we are people of the earth too—only have emotional reasoning.  You wrap your discussion in layers of emotional factors and it is because of that, you get easily offended. Where I come from, we have these discussions all day long and no one would ever dream of getting offended because we each are obliged to the truth and not to just maintaining our own personal systems of feeling valuable.”

Mike seemed lost, and then he spoke again, “All I’m trying to say is that Jesus was the Prince of Peace.  It is wonderful that four or five people, with very different perspectives, can enjoy each other’s company once a week for breakfast. That is a breakthrough. That is all we really want.”

Tom, still shaking his head, “But the way you people do it is by pretending that all is well. You bury your disagreements because your longing isn’t for truth but for maintaining your own belief system at all cost. This fellowship of breakfast is what you call a farce.  The only time you debate a topic, or it seems like the only time, is to try and prove yourself right and the others wrong so you can feel better about yourself. It has nothing to do with finding the truth. I’m really surprise that you are not still in your Dark Ages.”

As soon as the word “farce” had come out of Tom’s mouth, Mike’s mind instantly turned to his daughter Ashley’s tough words the week before, what were they, “fucking charade?” He felt a pain in the pit of his stomach and it wasn’t the Tabasco on his Cowboy Omelet.

There was a tense feeling around the table. Tom looked around the restaurant. It was almost empty with its low point at eleven AM, too late for breakfast and too early for lunch.  Sharon was in the corner watching carefully.

Tom, turned back to David, “So where were we? Please be open and honest . . . what is the Church?”

David thumbed through the Bible in front of him. “As I was saying it is the body of Christ. God set up the church for a system of worship, fellowship, the sacraments, accountability and the Great Commission of taking the Gospel to the world.”

Tom shook his head, “You’re being a poet again.  Pick up the book and show me!  This is very important.  I’ve read your scriptures over and over during the past six months and I know it doesn’t use any of those words. Roughly there are about one hundred and ten times that the term, translated to English as ‘church,’ is used in the scriptures. It only refers to the church as a movement, group, congress, collection of people, loose association.  I just don’t see this highly structured thing with such clear cut marching orders as you describe.”

Father Randy, looking at his watch and obviously wanting to move things along, spoke up. “God has spoken to us in His scriptures, but sometimes, giving us more details through our traditions and history. It is in those traditions that we have created more of the structure of the Church . . . according to God’s will and good pleasure.”

Tom sat back in his chair and put his chin on his hand. He could see David’s disapproval to his right. He turned and looked at him, “So David, do you have trouble with that?”

“I wouldn’t put traditions and church history on the same level of the Bible. I pastor a Bible-centered church and everything we do is based on the Bible.”

Tom started laughing, “David, I’ve almost pushed the scriptures here into your lap and you’ve never looked at it once, at least not seriously.  Your beliefs seem to be totally based on your traditions more so than the Father’s. So, do we put the same value on traditions as scriptures?”

“No,” came Mike’s quick response.  “We don’t ignore our church’s traditions, but we don’t base our beliefs on this . . . say like the Catholic Church would.”

Tom said, “I have to disagree. I think you base your knowledge far more on your traditions than even Father Randy, and he admits that he bases his truth on traditions and church history.”

David stood up, “Folks, it is eleven thirty and I have a million things to do.”

Father Randy said, in an accommodating way, “Tom, I think your discussion deserves more time . . . so, next week?”  He then looked around the table to several nods. 

David spoke up, “I’m not sure. This is my busy season and our church has a fall ministry campaign that I’m in the middle of. I may or may not be back.”

Tom stood up and reached out to shake David’s hand (David was assuming it was a goodbye shake) but then the stranger said to him, “David, this topic seems to be as essential for you as it is for us. So, please be back next week.  How can you have a church fall campaign if you are not even sure what the church really is?”

As they walked away, Greg caught up to Tom and said to him, “Hey, could I have a word with you?”

Tom looked at him and gave a positive nod.

“Hey man, I want to hear more about the unknown human history.  Are there other people on other planets . . . oh, apart from your people?”

GERMFASK XIII

With the first frost under their belts, the quiet people of the upper peninsula had Autumn pulled up tight around their waists like a favorite pair of trousers. In just one week the gold of the hills had descended to the very edge of the creeks and convoluted lake shores. The season is short here, and the flakes of winter were floating, being suspended on simple imaginations that would quickly yield to realizations.

David Smith was seated with his cup of coffee. Debra, who was often late, was already there as was Mike and Father Randy.  Greg had mentioned the previous week that he might be late, something about picking up another load of firewood on the way through GERMFASK.  There was no sign of the stranger.

Once they were seated and Sharon had done her duty to to collect their appetites on a paper pad and the pencil back behind her ear, David spoke, "I don't know about the rest of you, but our little experiment with the stranger should be drawing to a close soon."

Debra looked puzzled, "Is he leaving?"

David frowned, "One should only hope."

Debra gave one of those crock-eyed smiles that communicate more puzzlement than good humor, "What's your problem with the man?  I personally find him intriguing."

"The man is an enigma, and I don't mean that in any kind of positive way. He is obscure and he is arrogant. I have bad feelings about him. I think he could even have something demonic."

Randy spoke briefly to Sharon who had come back to the table to inform him that they had some fresh-picked, wild morel mushrooms in and would he rather have those in his omelet.  "Would I?" came his bright response.  Then he turned to the table, "Brother David, I really don't think the man means to be arrogant, but he is just factual, at least the way he sees things."

"If I hear him say one more time that his people make decisions from logic and we, so-called, earthlings do it from emotions, I think I will excuse myself and leave and never come back. I frankly find that insulting."

"Who's insulting?" came Greg's voice as he walked up from behind them, shaking sawdust off his jacket.

Mike answered, "David here thinks that Tom is a bit arrogant, and I would have to agree . . .  at least to a degree."

As Greg sat down, he smiled big and said in whisper, "I find the man incredible! I for one am taking him serious about his claims of being an alien."

Debra elbowed him, "Remember Greg, he would correct you, he is not an alien but a pilgrim, a displaced earthling." She paused to sip her coffee but then halted and whispered, "And he is coming in the door."

Tom walked up and stood by the table looking leaner than usual, "Good Morning Lady and gentlemen." He took off his Indiana Jones-hat and stuck it under his chair with his briefcase.  He took a seat and pulled up to the table and looked around.  He turned and looked directly at Father Randy, "So how's the ole heart doing?"

Father Randy's jaw literally dropped to the point that coffee ran down his chin. He turned and looked at Debra.  She began shaking her head as to say, "I didn't tell him."

Father Randy then looked back at the stranger, "Uh, what are you talking about?"

"Father, it is clear to me that you've had some health issues lately and I assume it is your heart."

"Who told you this?"

"It is simply logic, logic without emotion." (David to his right let out a sigh)

"What logic?"

"What you call deductive reasoning.  I observed last week that you didn't look well. You lower eyelids were of a lighter pink than normal, telling me you've a touch of anemia from possible blood loss, maybe a surgery or a procedure. Then I noticed how Debra gave you a little caress when she greeted you last week.  She has never done that before. I heard the two of you talking about a trip down the Grand Canyon. You are a man of sixty. You told me that your father died from a heart attack when he was forty eight. You have a thin white arc around your irises, a sign of elevated cholesterol. I heard you order your omelet made with Egg Beaters last week, you had never done that before. By the way, I had to look that one up in my dictionary. Debra had quite a bit more sun after your trip. That tells me that she was outdoors more than you. The only reason that she would separate from her dear friend was if he was in bed sick or in a hospital . . . should I go on?"

"Holy shit!" came Greg's response. "Father, is he right?"

"He is. Yeah, I had a little coronary mishap in Arizona."

"Are you okay?" asked Mike.

"Fit as a fiddle. I do need to take better care of myself. It was God's wake up call, but I didn't want to bother anyone with this."

Tom looked puzzled, "So you literally think that God caused you to have a heart attack, just to get you to do something.  My-o-my . . . you must think that God is mighty manipulative, somewhat like a spoiled child."

No one spoke a word as Tom gave Sharon his order, or actually just approved her recommendation . . . as always some new tomato concoction.  Finally Tom turned to his right a bit, in almost a robotic manner, and spoke, "Michael, tell us what is going on in your life. I sense that there is a disturbance close to home for you."

Greg leaned over the table and looked Mike in the eyes with great a expectation, "Did he nail you too?"

Mike blushed.  "Okay, I do have some things I'm working on in my personal life, but it isn't something I want to talk about with this group."

They all sat in silence until Mike spoke again. "So I'm curious. What gave me away?"

"Over the past few months I've seen you discouraged or concerned about things in your church. But this time its different.  I notice how quiet you were last week . . . except to take two phone calls.  Normally you just turn your phone off during breakfast. After each call, you seemed more worried than before. But your look of worry is deeper than when it was been over one of your church members. This must be personal.  I know that you  have a daughter, as you told me the first time I met you. So, I suspect that there's something difficult going on with either your wife, your daughter . . . or both."

Greg was looking at Mike, "So, tell us what's going on?"

Mike's eyes filled with tears, "Nothing. What I mean is this is personal, something I do not wish to discuss here."

"Leave him alone," came David's plea. "Leave the man alone. He said it's personal so let it be."

Tom rotated to his direct right, "David, I wish I could share with you what I know about you, but you're a closed book. I do know that you have something to hide and I haven't figured it out yet."

David chuckled with an angry laugh, like a dare, "So share your great insight, I'm all ears."

Tom smiled and looked around the group, "You, David, are a rigid man. You see the world through a rule book. Those who do such, use rules as runs of a ladder.  They grab them and pull up hard, trying to escape the murky guilt that is wrapped, like an octopus, around their ankles.You also use those rules to push others down, in order to give yourself leverage to get above the haunting guilt."

David burst out laughing. "You are so far off the mark that it isn't funny."  He took a drink of coffee and continued, "It's my turn to dissect your heart.  You are an arrogant man, judging everyone around your, because you are a con artist and don't know the Lord at all.  I don't know what your game is, but the spirit is telling me that you are up to no good. Figuring out Father Randy and Mike is a Satanic power, not from the Spirit.  The Spirit's works are always loving, warm and nurturing."

"Just like when the Spirit of God slaughtered the Philistines . . . or the Egyptians." Tom said with a somber smile on his face.

Father Randy, the perpetual peacemaker spoke up, "Gentlemen, the topic this morning was suppose to be about the nature of the Church of Christ. I think we should go around the table and each of us share our traditional or personal views of the topic.  Speaking of which, I think we have gotten way off topic for the morning."

Tom smiled, "Actually Father, and I say this with the utmost respect, that I was dead-center with the topic. The point being, is not the Church, the essence that surrounds the people of God when they are together?  If so, I was exploring this notion that you earthlings, as you would call yourselves, sit behind these towers of stone.  You can't talk about the realities of your life because you are entombed in fear, a fear based on the emotion of feeling insecure in your self-esteem.  To me, and I'm here to learn, it would seem that the Church is a place where the Gospel has penetrated fully, thus the communication is pure and open and safe. Not layers of not being able talk about the essentials, leaving only the trivial as the only permissible subjects."

Oddly, they all focused on eating while the words of Tom were being slowly digested.

GERMFASK CHAPTER XII

Michael Monroe was a quiet man in his original demeanor . . .  yet, he had been quieter and more distracted than usual.  No one, save his wife Beth, knew about the chaos percolating up in his personal life and she only knew part of it.

Everything in his sphere of influence seemed to be in perfect balance, when suddenly they began to unravel like an un-fused rope end in a hurricane.  The tincture that turned the wine into vinegar was a young man, who went by the name of “Rude,” a preferred shortened form of Ruddy or was it Rodney?

Rude was a transfer from Detroit. He was rough around the edges, into the grunge scene, so it seems. The first time that Mike had seen him was at Ashley's, his sixteen year old daughter’s, volleyball game.  He saw the boy at the corner of the gym with his long, jet-black dyed hair, a chrome chain going from his billfold to his belt and combat boots. He didn’t like him. He had no clue at the time that Rude was there—precisely—to watch Ashley play.

Ashley had had a boyfriend who had Mike and Beth’s perfect approval.  He was a member of their church. He was clean-cut. He played on the basketball team and he worked at the Hardware store. They knew that Ashley wasn’t talking much of Jonathan as of late but they didn’t realize that they had broken up. But Mike and Beth also had no idea that she was now becoming total obsessed with Rude.

It wasn’t until Beth herd from Jonathan’s mother in Sunday school that Ashley was dating this new, bad kid named Jude.  Jonathan’s mother whispered to Beth at church a couple of Sunday’s later, “How do you feel about Ashley’s smoking?” 

“Smoking?” asked Beth with a puzzled look. Jonathan’s mom just nodded. Of course, she was saying those things to make sure it was clear that Ashley was the villain in the breakup with her son. It would be assumed that the Preacher’s kid was always the one in the white hat.

This led to a confrontation that afternoon. Mike and Beth sat in the parsonage living room and demanded to hear it all . . . which they would later regret.

 Ashley was stone-walling at first, but she knew this day of reckoning was eventually coming, so she finally caved in and told them everything. She poured the details on them so fast that Mike and Beth clutched the arms of the overstuffed chairs for dear life, like they were riding them down a class five rapids or a whirly ride at the state fair. 

Ashley stated that she was deeply in love, her words, and Rude is the man she has always dreamt of. She wants to marry him as soon as she graduates, or maybe move in with him. He has helped her see truth in the world for the first time. He writes music. He is a poet. He taught her to smoke pot, which does more for her than church ever did. She only smokes tobacco to train her lungs to inhale pot.

Being disoriented on the whirly ride, Beth finally shouted STOP!  SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!  Michael, say something!

None of Mike’s pastoral counseling classes had prepared him for this moment. Maybe he was prepared to help other parents deal with the situation with an emotional detachment, but not in his own family.  He was totally lost for words.  He prayed in his silent places.  He felt so scared. Ashley was sixteen and she had the power to trump anything he could say . . . by simply walking out the door . . . which she would eventually do.

Beth had demanded that Mike do something, at least about the pop-smoking. Ashley didn’t have a car to take away. Mike did ground her, but those were empty words to Ashley.  Mike, taking the best position that he could as a parent of a sixteen-year-old, but still a weak position, told her that she could never bring pot or even tobacco into their house or, or  . . .  “Or what?” Ashley demanded.

Mike was trembling on the inside. Beth was staring at Mike from the other side of Ashley, her eyes demanding that he man up. He spoke as if programed words were coming out . . .  “Or you can’t live here.”

“That’s fine. I didn’t want to live here anymore anyway. I’m sick and tired of playing Christian . . . so sick I want to puke all over your little church.”

Beth was sobbing uncontrollably.  Ashley packed up her Britney Spears overnight bag (which her non-Christian grand pa had given her when she turned ten).  It was a strange paradox a girl doing a grown up thing like leaving home but with a little girl’s suitcase. Apparently she had phoned Rude because the moment she walked the door he pulled up in is rattly and rusty Subaru.  They pulled out and up the street and they could hear his broken muffler echoing through the neighborhood.

Up until the threshold of their door, Beth had been screaming, “Where are you going?  You have to tell us where’re you going?  We will call the police if you don’t tell us.”

Ashley replied, “Don’t worry about it. I will be safe. But I can’t live here in pretend anymore. I just can’t stand this fucking Charade.”

Beth looked with horror, “Ashley don’t ever use those words in this house! I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

Ashley smiled, “You just don’t get it.  I won’t be using any words in this house anymore!  That’s why the hell I’m leaving!” She then paused and turned around, “And another thing dear mom, you have never known me!”

Mike and Beth both stopped at the threshold of their door. They didn’t want to take the family fight out into the yard where people could see them.  Mike had been evangelizing Clifford across the street for years. It would ruin their wittiness.  The Jorgensen’s lived just down the street. Stephen was an elder at their church.

In the silent, cultured stone split-level was empty and quiet . . . quiet except for the sounds of Beth’s sobbing.  Mike tried to hold her, but she seemed angry at him and pushed him away.  Finally she gave vent to the emotions building up in side of her, “Why didn’t you do something?  Why didn’t you stop her? Mike . . . what are we going to do?”

Mike was silent and numb on the outside. Inside he felt terrified.  His whole life had just been turned upside down.  He felt like he had just watched a horror movie, but when the lights came on, then he exited into the street from the theater, the monsters were still there.  You couldn’t put the genie back into the bottle. Their family would never, ever be the family they were just a week earlier.

They did call the police. The police treated it as a simple runaway, but the officer knew Mike and Beth personally. Beth demanded that he keep quiet about their problem.  He assured them he would. He went beyond what he was required to do.  He looked for the kids until he found the rusty car sitting in front of one of Ashley’s friend’s house.  He went in and talked with them. Her friend’s mother was offering Ashley a place to stay until this blew over.

As bad as things had become, it wasn’t the worse of things for Mike. That came a week later.  During their intensive and more personal than typical conversations, Beth said something that shook Mike’s world more that Ashley’s leaving had.

They were sitting in bed talking and Beth said, “Ashley needs to grow up and realize, like I did, that she needs to pick the good man to be with, not the one you are in love with.”  As soon as she said those words, she realized in her lapse of vigilance she spoke much more honestly than she intended.

“What does that mean?” Mike asked. “Are you saying you married me, not out of love, but out of discipline?”

“Of course not! I do love you. I was just saying that I was mature enough to know that you were a good man and that you would make a good husband and father and that’s why I married you.”

Mike sat in a cold, dark silence as he pondered where to take the conversation. He was totally infatuated with Beth when they married. He assumed that she was about him.

Beth hit the remote hoping to distract the conversation. She had always avoided speaking her heart to anyone, especially Mike. But now they were in her inner world and she wanted them to exit, so she could close that door, which she had inadvertently opened.

Finally Mike spoke again, “Beth, you weren’t in love with me were you?  I always had that sense, but for now the pieces seem to fit.”

“Mike, I love you and that is what counts.  Who even knows what being in love really is. It is a word children use.”

“Beth, I have no doubts I was deeply in love with you.”

But Mike started putting pieces together.  When he met Beth, she was a new convert coming to their campus ministry. She was dating a tall, handsome guy, Lew, who played tennis for the state college and was a fraternity president.  Mike remembered how hard it was for Beth to break up with him, but she knew that she had to leave that partying lifestyle. 

Mike barely knew her at the time.  But looking back, he knew that Beth had been in love with Lew. Now, he realized that she had never been in love with him in the same way. He was the safe, quiet man. Right now, that is not what he wanted to be. Strangely, he would rather have been Beth's Rude.

In a span of a week, he realized that he was a failure as a father, a pastor and the knight he always wanted to be, winning the love and admiration for the woman he loved. He was terrified that his sweet, little princess daughter was being sexually active and doing so with a man . . . a boy . . . who didn't love her the way that he did.  His heart was breaking.

The avalanche of insecurities where overwhelming for Michael Monroe. On the surface, for the sake of the Gospel, for the sake of his church, he had to pretend that all was well. However, he felt like a Russian Matryoshka doll, where layer by layer he was being consumed from the inside out by wood-eating piranha. Layer by layer his inner man was dying, and he felt as just a shell . . . a smiling and shellacked  pastor Mike. He could let no one know . . . for the sake of the Gospel, he had to man up.