The Way of All Flesh - Butler, Part II

I really don't believe in petty destiny (or fatalism) however, I was quite struck by my latest choice of books. It was purely by chance as I am reading the top 100 novels and this one (number 11) was the only one that the used bookstore had two weeks ago.

I've been too busy to read much, but this morning I reached the 1/3 way mark in the book. If you look on this cover (the people donning the masks) you will see how this book dovetails so close to what I'm always harping about.

I think I explained before that Samuel Butler was NOT a celebrated writing during his life time. He did write this book about decade before he died. In the book he commented (coming out of a character into the first-person author's voice) to say that people will not like him when they read it. But, by the end, he was so concerned about a negative social view that he asked his sister to publish it after his death.

As I read it, I am amazed how close his perspective is to mine and to many of us who visit these blogs. It is true that there isn't anything new under the sun.

Butler grew up in Victorian England. The point of the book is to tell a story of typical Christian life. He is looking at that life, way up on the 40th or 50th floor, however the floors are made of glass. You can see down through the layers (becoming more opaque as the layers accumulate).

I want to come back and discuss it more. I understand that Butler eventually left the Church, just like today, because he couldn't handle the farce factor.

Tomorrow I want to discuss some of the story.

Jesus and the Total War

(The painting represents Dali's view of war.)

I found myself once again in a debate on another (medical providers), forum. On that forum, there is a section about non-medical practice issues, which often become political.

The debate started about the Gaza relief flotation interception last week. I really try to stay out of these discussions because I get too emotionally involved (even loosing sleep over it). However, with several provocative statements I had to jump in with both feet.

When these discussions tackle Islam, Iraq, Afghanistan or Gaza usually a line of demarcation quickly develops between the hawks and doves. I tend to be a dove. The hawks tend to be a combination of the ex-military grunts and . . . Evangelicals.

My view is simple. While I find myself defending Muslims or at least Arabs, frequently, it is more about human rights . . . all human rights. I would not hesitate to defend Jews, gays, handicap, or any category that I sense is being bashed. As I said on the medical forum, my philosophical perspective is simple. I believe that God is there, and that all people are created, equally, in His image. Therefore, all people deserve justice.

This is where I stand perplexed. In these debates, I find myself shoulder to shoulder with the most liberal people. My partner in the defense of the Gaza Arabs is a very vocal atheist and another is an outspoken gay leader.

So I started to scratch my head yesterday. I really, honestly,

am perplexed about how you can mix Jesus with hate. It doesn't add up.

The perspective of some of the Evangelicals is that the terrorists are evil and deserve the hammer of God. In the case of Gaza, Israel is God's chosen people. Therefore, we should wipe them out. Not only does the hawk group want to tighten the blockade (as one said, "we need to bring the Gaza people down to their knees) but the last straw, which got me most confused, was that one Christian said the he believed in "Total War!."

My point to him was that in Gaza, maybe .01% of people have done terrorist acts (launching rockets into Israel) so then we starve the innocent women, kids . . . and men? Some have suggested to me that we should not only starve them but bomb them.

I honestly don't understand this view among Christians. I feel shaken . . . like I' m from another planet. Is there a guilt by association? Is there a collateral hate? What I mean is, if someone got drunk and drove, hitting and killing one of my kids, I can certainly see me hating them (to speak honestly) but I don't think I would even be tempted to hate their wife, their brother or their children. Maybe if they where the ones who supplied the booze.

I don't know if there is a question in this post but more of a venting from my well of confusion.

The Pface of Phonies

"All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts . . ."

(William Shakespeare - The Monologue)

I've spent a lot of energy over the last three years talking about honestly, candor and . . . as our friend Holden Caulfield would say, "phonies." Yes, much of that talk about been about church phonies.

A couple of comments ago, someone referred to my statement that my son made (in regards to the church) that it is a farce. But, while I am often critical of Evangelicalism, I wanted to make the point that it does not have the corner on farceness. That is the same thing I told my son.

So, wherever you go in life, there is the farce factor. We don't have to reach the point of Caulfield and assume that everyone is a complete phony. Actually, I've met plenty of people who are surprisingly candor, not in just what they say, but how they live their life. I've found these people both inside and outside the Church.

So, when people talk about leaving the Church, because of the farce factor, I really don't belief there is a safe, farce-free, place to go.

I had a conversation recently with one of my son's (different son) friends. He said he couldn't believe in Christianity anymore because he didn't think it sounded reasonable. But it wasn't 20 minutes later he was showing someone a new skill-set he had learned, I think it was Tarot cards, or palm reading (can't remember now) where he could tell someone's future. I looked up and asked, "Now are you serious about this?"

"Yes!" he said. "This really works. You really can tell someone's future this way because your Zodiac sign determines who you are and where you are going."

I had to say it. "So, you gave up Christianity because it didn't sound rational . . . for this?"

So, in the same way, I think people leave the church because of its farce factor, only to enter the Caulfield world where all is a farce.

The reason I am not gentle with the Church and its farceness, is that it should know better. If the Christian Church represents the God, who is there, and who created reality . . . then it should be the most honest place in the world. Honest, but not with cruelty. The reason is simple. Each time you lie, you take a giant step backwards from God, because He is the author of realty.

This doesn't mean just bold face lying, but implying that you are something that you are not. It means being transparent with you true faults.

The other reason that I am sometimes harsh with the Church is this very problem of people leaving because of the farce factor. I assume it is the number one reason people leave. It has touched close to home. Most of my kids' generation have walked away. If it had really been the one place in the world where there was complete candor and yet loving (as it claims to be) then you couldn't keep kids away with a stun gun.

I look at our church. It drives me crazy that out of the 20 or so teenagers, who have graduated from high school and moved on in the past 7 years, I think about 3 are going to church anywhere. This is a huge issue. I also get tired of the same ole solutions (at least the ones that come from our church). "We should be harder on them. Once you let them get tattoos then they have one step out the door." Or, "We shouldn't let them go to college." Evidence suggest that those teens who do go to college, even the most secular schools, are a bit more likely to stay in church.

But, as I've said all along, we knew new wineskins. I new way to do church and not just re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic to find a "safer place."

A Word About My Marriage . . . Clearing the Air

I know that I make comments now and then about my wife, my marriage and the fact that we are on two separate pages at times. I know too that this makes some people uncomfortable, especially if you have been around the evangelical church for some time. But I thought it was time I addressed this directly.

In the typical Evangelical setting there is a myth about marriage. The Christian marriage is virtually perfect and there is harmony because both sides have their eyes on Jesus and love each other with agape love. So you never hear a peep about any kind of disagreement . . . unless it comes just before a total collapse of the union.

This happened in my present church about 4-5 years ago (and since). Then, one of the key families suddenly—with no warning—imploded and the parents divorced. They used to sit up near the front with their three blond, little boys. To everyone’s shock they announced that they were divorcing and they have never been back to church since.

I was in Sunday school class with the dad and Denise with the mom. The only chink in their armor may have been the Sunday before their marital demise when the mom mentioned to the women’s Sunday school class that her husband was going to be really mad when he finds out that she had booked a cruise without asking him. Then . . . wham . . . they leave each other and the marriage is over. The cruise issue couldn’t have been the cause . . . maybe the “last straw.”

I go to a church where the culture is that people are more private than most. I’ve been there for about seven years and I have never heard anyone say anything negative about their marriages. It is simply not done. Maybe a joke, “You know men, they spend all the money on their toys, ha!” But no one says offers a serious comment about a real issue.

Now I, in my desire for candor, am the exception. I don’t say negative things about our marriage relationship often, but if it is an issue, and related, I don’t hesitate. I mention fights, which we’ve had. I will say that Denise doesn’t like this or that about me. I admit, I bring up the negative far more than she does . . . but I try to bring up the positive equally.

I have seen people’s jaws drop . . . especially if they don’t know me. They frown on my negativity. My comments also worry them a great deal. Like the fore-mentioned couple, in our church you never say anything negative about your marriage, except for the warning flare shot high into the sky as the ship is sinking. I suspect that many speculate if that is what I’m doing . . . you know the flare. Some probably expect for Denise and me to announce our divorce any day . . . or like the other couple, just never show up again and they hear through the grapevine that we have divorced.

But there is a lot of silent suffering going on in our church. The pastor’s wife as slipped over on more than one occasion to vent that she is near her breaking point in the marriage . . . but only in a very private setting and only with my wife, who is her best friend.

But I don’t think our marriage is worse than others. Actually, I think it is much healthier. We agree on 90% of issues. If you read this blog you know just about the entire 10% of our conflicting views.


I’ve mentioned before how I started a Bible study about 5 years ago for couples at our church and it was on marriage. It was frustrating because I could not get anyone to share anything negative about their perfect marriages. I knew things about the five couples who came. But all the information came via the same convoluted course. The wife of the couple had told their non-Christian friend. That non-Christian friend had told my wife and thus I knew. So, I knew that couple A was having serious issues because the husband owned a business and was spending many hours away form the family and it really frustrated the wife. The couple B was plagued by the husband’s on and off again relationship with the bottle . . . meaning of course the Jack Daniel’s bottle. He was a mean drunk. Couple C had some of the most serious conflicts within the household. In couple D’s situation, the husband lived and worked in another state and their marriage was suffering a great deal from it. Plus there was a conflict between the husband and his father-in-law, who is an elder at our church, and who told his geologist son-in-law that he could not be a Christian because he believed in an old earth.

So when I asked poignant questions each week, no one would volunteer an answer but squirm in their seats. So, inevitably, I would share what Denise and I were struggling with. I can remember clearly that wife from couple C sharing, just once, shared about a struggle she and her husband were having. He looked at her with a subliminal rage.

It was during that same meeting that the husbands from couple A, B and C (the husband from D wasn’t there) confronted me during snack break. “We don’t like you trying to dig up dirt on us. We have great marriages.” Then the husband from couple C gave me a book about “looking for God’s fingerprint in nature” and told me that we should study that book.

Gee-whiz I thought. So, gave up on the study.

Denise and I have a marriage that is far from perfect, but it is honest. About 12 years ago we were through a very rough spot . . . so rough that divorce was in our vocabulary. It is nowhere near that now.

Most of our 10% of disagreement now comes over the very issues I blog about . . . honestly, candor and me going to an Evangelical church. Regarding church, she doesn’t see my point. To her, church is about tradition and personal relationships. She does have some good relationships with other women, such as the pastor’s wife. But men, at least in this church, treat each other differently. While Denise is down in her woman’s class, sharing cookies and kitting secrets, and laughing, I was sitting upstairs with the men. I would be watching a Ken Hamm video and being lectured to about how we should force our children to believe in a young earth. If I dared to disagree with them (somewhat like Johan was referring to in his comments two posts ago) I am quickly pointed out as compromiser with Satan. So our church experiences are very different. To her it is silly to change churches. “There is no perfect church,” she will yell at me. And of course she is right. So, to keep the peace, I am staying here and trying to make the best of it.

The other issue that is hard for us is my desire for candor. I’ve said before that is has always been a natural desire of mine, even though I spent 20 years as an Evangel-lair. Maybe it has to do with my upbringing verses hers.

I grew up in a somewhat dysfunctional family. My father became an alcoholic in his later years. My siblings have been into a lot of wild things and remain unstable. Yet, and I know this sounds funny, but my family’s dysfunctionality was in harmony with Bible-belt fundamentalism. I’ve mentioned before that my pastor, growing up, had a pretty mistress on the side, (which my mother helped to cover for). Our Sunday school director was having sex with as many young boys as he could (thank God he never got his hands on me). So the two opposites were compatible . . . sadly.

My wife grew up in a Scandinavian-Lutheran culture. There is a huge contrast between the two cultures. I see her culture being much more refined . . . but also much more Victorian. Her family never, ever talks about emotional issues. They never talk about faults of their own . . . never, ever. They, like most people in their society, keep a façade of perfection. But it is very different than the Evangelical pretense of godliness. The difference is, the Scandinavian-Lutheran culture allows for mischief deep down below the surface. I mean there were some bad things going on down there, but you would never, ever talk about them. Evangelicals believe their own lies about their goodness.

So, when it comes to candor, Denise and I are not on the same page. No, she is not a phony, but my candor makes her very uncomfortable. I’ve mentioned that she does not come to this blog. I wish she would. I would love to have her come and comment. But this blog scares the hell out of her . . . like when I use words like, “hell.” It really embarrasses her. There was a time when I was begging her to come here. It isn’t like she doesn’t read blogs. She followed my son’s blog with great enthusiasm. She follows two niece’s blogs daily and even friends of friends. But she would not come here any more that I would want to go to a Jesusland amusement park. I know it is not fair for me to reference her views and she is not here to defend herself . . . but I wish she were here. I wish she would blog every day about things I do to piss her off. I would read it faithfully because then I would know what they were. If she had a hard time thinking of my faults I could give her a laundry list of suggestions.

She doesn’t like my writing in general for the same reason. She has asked me to only write privately for my own benefit, not allowing others to see it. You know, like a diary that I lock up each night and put under my bed. But, we are different people when it comes to this perspective. If I don’t write and if I don’t “shout” my thoughts from the rooftops . . . I think I would die inside.

So, I think I’ve said enough and the air should be clear.

It is late, and I had to type fast so I hope I can proof-read this tomorrow.

Candor w/o Cruelty . . . is it Possible? Part II

Okay, sitting in church this morning I quickly realized that I had an example of a real life dilemma and example of this issue of candor without or with cruelty. Now while this is a very practical example, I’m not looking for any advice for my personal situation but I’m raising the question of how does this apply to the whole of church experience everywhere. I think what I will share is very common.

Our pastor has had a problem getting elders for our church. He preached on eldership from Titus this morning and he announced that in two weeks we will have a special Sunday evening discussion and dinner about the role of eldership.

I will be candid (as usual) and say that our pastor is gifted in teaching and studying scripture and a lot of leadership qualities. I’ve heard he is excellent in dealing with major life events, marriage, divorce, diagnoses with cancer, death and etc. However, in my (and others) opinion he has some significant handicaps. Primarily—and I think it is part of his personality nature—he is an extreme micro-manager, authoritarian and not approachable. I am the proverbial pot calling the kettle black. I would make a horrible pastor for a long list of reasons.

With that said, I have strong mixed feelings about going to this meeting in two weeks. I already know how it will play out.

The pastor will do an excellent job and exposé on the Biblical description of the elder role. He will then do an organizational chart of our denomination and how we use elders. Then he will challenge men to step up to the plate and be an elder (or suffer the guilt of not obeying God). So we will all sit and smile. Some, overwhelmed with guilt, may cave in and join in.

So all of that looks pretty on the 30th floor level where most church issues work themselves out.

Now, let’s go down to the tenth floor.

I’m speaking from experience as I was an elder for two years. During those two years every elder meeting was preceded by a letter from the pastor listing the agenda items that would be discussed. Once we arrive and endure a 30 minute devotional, the pastor would go through each agenda item, do a lecture on it and include his decision on that agenda. It could be getting a sign, a new roof, giving himself a pay raise (which he deserved but still . . . giving yourself a raise is quite odd and unethical in my book) and, two hours later, open for any discussion and have us sign off on the decision that he has already made. It was extremely difficult to raise any question about his decision.

Once, some guest church members came in and voiced a disagreement with one of the decisions that the “board had made” and left. He exploded in a moment of rage and attacked us for allowing them to speak against the pastor. I knew then that it was hopeless and that was the night I decided to resign.

I told him the reason I was leaving the next morning via e-mail. We were only a token board of elders who were castrated of power. He never responded to me and our friendship has been shaken since.

So, if I go to this meeting do I sit and smile and play the church game? My wife certainly hopes so. If I have a voice of candor and share the reality of what I just said, the shit will, indeed, hit the fan (okay, we are talking about church here so the dung will hit the windmill).

I’ve talked to a couple of other elders, back when I resigned, and they strongly opposed me making an issue of this problem. The Dutch (at least those transplanted here to America) do not believe in causing trouble. They prefer to “wait the pastor out.” He has been here for 10 years and they think that it would just be best to wait for the next pastor.

So, if I’m honest, I will stand alone. I will be seen as a trouble maker and cruel. This is where my wife says that I shouldn’t be honest at the expense of being cruel. This is also the reason why several families have left our church.

Years ago I would be willing to start such a war, but now, it is not important enough. If other elders felt like I did, then maybe. But if I stand a lone, it would be a declaration of war . . . a war I can not win.

So we all sit and smile and no one volunteers to be elder. We let the pastor rebuke us of no being the Christian men we should be.

Candor w/o Cruelty . . . is it Possible?

As typical for me, there was a chain of events that brought this issue to my thoughts once again. I know the issues, which surround honestly and candor, are complex. I also realize I’ve written about this many times before . . . but here it is once more . . . if anyone is listening.

If you have stumbled onto this blog as a novice observer I must give a brief background.

I think I was someone who was drawn to the concept of “honest truth” or “true truth” from childhood. While an Evangelical I was always aware that what we said and reality had a strange disjointedness. I wasn’t the only one who lived dishonestly, but I observed it among my fellow Christians. But we all lived the myth. I saw my fellow Navigator trainees and roommates spend four hours in Bible study during the week and then report at the meeting that that they had spent eight. We lied about miracles and did everything we could to cover up our moral frailty and to potentiate the pretense of our godliness. We were always happy and nice . . . on the exterior.

But when I became disillusioned with Evangelicalism I faced tremendous pressure to start lying again. If I had lied, life would have been so much easier. But I was determined to try the Christian faith without the lies . . . like trying pizza without the cheese (which I've had once).

The last piece of this puzzle was watching my own five kids grow up and start to question the Christian paradigm. As my son Quentin voiced, “Not only is the Church a farce but the sad thing is that they don’t realize it is a farce.”

So this is why I’m committed to trying to speak and live honestly. It is for the sake of our youth if for no other reason. But there are other reasons.

My major philosophical view is that if God is there, then He must be a God of truth. Okay, maybe He doesn’t have to be . . . but the Christian God certainly proclaims to be truth. Then this should be truth in everything . . . including emotional truth. That is the hardest. Additionally Christianity teaches very clearly that lying is sin.

I’ve used the illustration many times (and I’m sorry for redundancy if anyone is here who has read this before) of a building. The basement is total honesty, meaning psychological and moral honestly as well as factual honestly. In my view, the building is about 100 stories tall, like that of the Sears (I think AKA “Willis”) Tower.

In the penthouse are those who have lost all grips of reality. This includes the mentally ill with psychosis (usually due to no fault of their own). As I’ve said, the problem with schizophrenics isn’t their sense of reason. They seem to reason clearly. But they have tremendous failure in their ability to perceive the real world around them.

Only a dozen or so floors below those who are insane, are the TV Evangelists with the big hair, Botox, stages of plastic flowers and plastic lives. Near them are many people in public life, like politicians, who live a life of what people need to believe about them in order to vote for them. Who knows what really lurks in their souls.

But not far below them are some of the professionals, and I will explain.

About ten years ago I wrote a (somewhat funny but honest) autobiography about my professional experiences. While many related and liked the book, I had some professionals slam me for “looking like a fool” and “being a bad representation of our medical profession.” So there is a professional myth where you are not human but a perfect, confident robot and are never caught making a mistake. I think of the Donald Trump, Inc. here. He and his children look to me as if they are made of fiberglass . . . maybe they are.

So I think most of Evangelicalism is lived out between the 30th and 50th floors.

Now my question this time around (and I will have to make a series about this) is can you really live honestly and can you do it without cruelty? I don’t think so anymore. I have lost my aspirations of living completely honest in this world. I do expect that in the new and improved world God will bring that there will be absolute candor and that world will be able to live within that paradigm, which it can not now.


The chain of events, which brought this to the forefront of my mind again, started with a conversation with my wife a few weeks ago. I made the statement, “I really want to live honestly!”

To which she replied, “But you don’t have to be cruel to people!”

I’m not sure what we were talking about but I’m sure it had something to do with church.

Now understand I have never advocated the type of cruel honestly as portrayed in the movie, The Invention of Lying. In that movie people would walk up to a stranger and tell them that they are fat and ugly.

But what do you do if you have absolutely no desire to go to a church meeting to watch a movie about the myths of global warming. Someone asks me,"Are you coming to the movie at church tonight?”

I say, “No.”

They then say, “Oh, do you have plans?”

I will say, “No. I just have no desire to watch the movie because I really do believe the science behind global warming.”

The people inviting me become very offended by my response. This is where my wife says I am cruel. My goal wasn't to be cruel . . . but to be honest.

So what do you do? You are left with two options. Smiling big and saying, “Oh, I would love to come.” Then you go and keep your mouth shut. Life is played out much easier this way. Or you say, “I’m sorry but I can’t come because we are expecting guests,” which is a bold-face lie.

But that is only scratching the surface. I've talked a lot about motives behind what we say and do. How honest can we be about it? I’m not sure. I don’t think I can speak with complete candor in my life time . . . without risking total alienation and becoming more of an object of hate.

I will close this beginning thought on my next event, which brought honestly to mind once again.

I’m presently reading Samuel Butler’s book, The Way of All Flesh. I read about him before I started this book. Apparently he was an un-celebrated writer during his lifetime. He started this, his most famous work, about eleven years before his death. He says in the book itself that his honestly will cause all people to hate him. The reason? He was living and writing in Victorian England. The thesis of his story (and I didn’t intentionally chose the book because of this subject matter) is revealing the hypocrisy of the Victorian, Christian society. I’m only a forth of the way through and already he draws a very distinct contrast between the real motives for decisions of a pastor and his family and their surface motives (like God called me to do this or that). By the time he completed the book he was too scared to even publish it and asked his sister to publish it after he was dead. He knew that his candor would go over like a lead balloon in the Christian society.

I will be back and deal with the issue honestly as it relates to flirting and deep personal insecurities . . . and how hard it is for any of us Christians to acknowledge either.

Mike

(P.S. I will come back and look for typos tomorrow)

The Christian-Controlled Marquee and a Need for a New Church Division

There are two Christian marquees that I encounter every day on my way to work. One is owned by a very conservative, King James Only, Baptist church. The second one is outside a Christian owned business (hair salon). Both of these signs are very visible.

I will mention the church one first because it seems, of late, to be the lessor of evils. For a while the Baptist church has provocative sayings such as “Thank God for Global Warming” as well as anti-gay sayings. For the past year or so their sign has been rather benign (“We are a Family of Families”) and doesn’t’ change that much, but it is very visible as it sits on the main highway.

The business though is a different story. It is held up, on our island, as the ideal integration of Christ into a business. I know nothing about the owners but like everyone else on our island, I know clearly their positions on a number of issues. Unlike the Baptist church, they change their sign at least once a week.

This morning the sign read, “We would love to change our Governor for the one in Arizona.” When I saw the sign, my immediate thoughts went out to the very large Hispanic population on our island. How do they feel about the sign?

Now, I honestly believe that good Christian people can have a variety views on immigration and there is not one clear view that is “Biblical.” But there is a tendency among Evangelicals to want to “keep the foreigners out of my country.” They attempt to wrap Biblical concepts around this view, but we all know it is personal and selfish. Not to say that the other sides aren’t the same.

However, I personally am perplexed by this America Fortification view.

I use to teach a Sunday school class on world missions. We prayed earnestly for missionaries willing to go to all parts of the world. We studied about great opportunities missed in history, when the church did not send missionaries to countries, like China, who were begging for them. I watch all kinds of TV preachers crying and telling how they are brining food to the poor in the developing world (with 50% going to support the up keep of their many vacation homes). Yet, when the people, whom we suppose to care so much about, want to come here . . . we hate them.

Before this sign, the beauty salon had up signs about the myth of global warming. I am still perplexed why Evangelicals are opposed to that. Is there some obscure verse that says that global warming is myth? There’s been signs by the Christians about defending our right to own guns, pro-life (which is more understandable), anti-Obama, anti-Arab, anti-electric cars and etc.

So seeing the sign this morning started me thinking again. The evangelicals, which I am no longer part, have defined themselves so precisely, from a cultural stand point, that I think a time must come where there is a major split between them and us simple Christians, “simple” meaning without a lot of cultural beliefs wrapped in Jesus.

Right now there is a huge abyss outside the door of the Evangelical church. That is why, when most people walk out, they fall into nothingness. Some do find people of like mindedness in the Catholic, Orthodox and some of the old-mainline churches such a Lutheran. Those can be good places for us, but they are not consistent. What I mean is, I attended a pretty good Episcopalian church when I was in college. But I tired to attend one last year and it was 90% New Age spirituality wrapped in Jesus the same way that the Evangelicals wrap the right-wing agenda in Jesus.

Mike Spencer talked of the demise of the Evangelical church. I do believe that something will grow from the stumps like mushrooms. I don’t know what it will be. I tried a house church and I had great hopes for the house church movement at one time. But now, every house church I’ve visited or been part of has one foot in the cult grave. Bizarre things can happen there. We are talking about spiritual manipulations, weird experiences (used to manipulate). I’ve known a couple of house churches that seemed good on the surface, but it turned out to be dens where the confident, charismatic (not literally but in terms of personalities) have secret orgies among the pretty girls under their control.

Now I know that I could find good places in some house churches, good places in some Catholic or Orthodox churches, but there is always a gamble.

But this is not about me. I’ve resolved that I’m not going anywhere right now as a gift o my wife.

But I’m thinking about the Church in general. I think there has to options to capture those exiting the back door and going nowhere. I do believe that there is a Bible mandate to meet together and to hold each other accountable.

I wish I had the confidence and talents to start a low-key “safe house” for Christians who can’t stand all the “plus” stuff. You know, Jesus plus this or that. It would be as much as a church as any. It would a way station to catch those who were on their way to nowhere.

The sad thing is that most of those leaving, who have not put the years of thought into it as I have, really do believe it is the Evangelical church or the devil . . . so they finally choose the “devil” rather than put up with the farce any more. To suggest that they could meet with me in a coffee shop or a bar and be real seems so bizarre to them they would never think it was possible. To them, it seems so wrong that not going to church at all seems better.

Just a few more spontaneous thoughts.